"The price of freedom is eternal vigilance."
34 Ways a Teacher CAN Get Fired
May 5th, 2009, 9:50 am · 42 Comments · posted by by Alan Bock, Register editorial writer
The LA Times recently published a detailed expose of how ridiculously difficult it is to fire a teacher in the Los Angeles Unified School District. The article documents countless horrifying offenses that won’t get a tenured teacher booted. I couldn’t help but wonder what will leave a public school teacher unemployed.
Since, there have been so few examples in LA (less than 1 in 1,000 tenured teachers get the axe in LAUSD), I had to broaden my search to the nation, so here’s a less-than-comprehensive list of things that will leave your local indoctrinator polishing his or her resume.
- Let students go joyriding in your car.
- Put on The Laramie Project.
- Give your students a suggestive, but actually clean, four-letter word quiz. It doesn’t matter if you’re teacher of the year.
- Work weekends in a bikini, on a fishing boat.
- Explain what bad words mean to your ESL students.
- Use MySpace…er, to talk about “getting any” with your students.
- Call your students “filthy animals who belonged in a f***ing zoo.” Nice.
- Randomly try to beat the crap out of a student.
- Have your third grade students give you massages.
- Be a wizard. Oh wait, make that, perform a thirty second magic trick with a toothpick. Yeah, that’s right.
- Duct tape your student’s mouth shut. Oh, did I mention she was a special needs student. Classy.
- Maintain academic standards and fail the damn students that are failing.
- Have the wrong views about homosexuality.
- Be in an x-rated movie. More than a decade ago.
- Add “nonviolently” to a state-mandated loyalty oath. You might call this the “be a believing Quaker” case.
- Take your students to an art museum, without ensuring that all the fig leaves have been reattached.
- Demand your student pull down her pants and reveal her menses.
- Be married to a really ugly man. Oh, and go on the Howard Stern Show, mostly nekkid.
- Pose for Playboy (you had to see this one coming).
- Take your students to a gay strip bar. Why exactly a female teacher would take four female students to a male strip bar is…unclear.
- Prevent a cop from roughing up one of your students.
- Tie your student to a chair with a bed sheet. Your TWO-YEAR-OLD student.
- Protest your government’s actions. In Russia, anyway.
- Refuse to remove your bible from class. Those allegations about burning crosses into students’ arms are totally false. Totally.
- Watch porn at school. No, flimsy excuses won’t save you: “I wanted to make sure the kids couldn’t see it!”
- Question the administration’s gaming of the public funding system.
- Be a woman. [Note: this isn't a public school, but it's too ludicrous not to mention.]
- Teach about magical penis theft.
- Give your student a graphic novel that’s, well, too graphic. Particularly if you’re a man, and she’s a 14-year old girl.
- Be an obnoxious vegan.
- Be a painter…who just so happens to paint using his naked buttocks. Ah, modern art.
- Tell your students to “give into their boyfriends’ requests for sex.” Female empowerment!
- Throw eggs with your students, and promote drag racing.
- And, of course, have a 17 yeard old lover…who was kinda one of your students.
I’m sure there are many more but this sampling should reveal that it’s not completely impossible for a teacher to be fired. Leave your favorites in the comments.
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yea my teacher does none of that but she does stuff worse for example no lunch, no jokes, no fun (not as in you know what), and she treats us like a piece of ****. specifically me my freind frank, brandon, and sebastian out of 17 kids
haha this made me laugh!
My teacher swears but we tell him to give us sweets and we wont tell! haha
Can teachers be fired for throwing a bag at a student? That happened it waz funnnnnny x
my teacher throws stuff and says she hates students and sends us out of the class cause her daughter doesnt like them.
my teacher hates me and i hate her i want to get her fired
-_-
whichever teacher decided to take her students to a strip baar…
umm, How did she manage to be smart enough to be a teacher ???
Third gradeteacher, getting drunk and partying with a mother of one of her students every night ultimately breaking up the mom’s marriage causing a “broken home” for her student.
I know one of the parties involved in the duct tape incident. The person who got it all dropped on him wasn’t at fault and was found not guilty of the incident. The teacher who did it, got away scott free.
.. hilarious.
Where should I go to talk to?? Our wonderful teacher was fired . We wrote a Petition, and nothing happened. The Principal did not pay attention to it.
We got are teacher fired, but it kind of helped that she was a man/woman which ever it may be. She was teaching us about taking showers in space and about homosexuality.
i hate my teacher, but she doesnt do anything bad… except shes annoying, talking about her divorce and “nasty” custody battle.
ugh, me too, my teachers are such douchebags. but i love my gay counsler. hes the coolest.
My spanish teacher had a 45 minute spanish 1 class (juniors only) and a 1hr 30 minute spanish 1 and 2 class (seniors who hadn’t taken spanish only). Spanish is a required class at my school. You have to have a language and they offer no other languages.
Due to the fact that my teacher doesn’t know how to teach, he gave his 45 min spanish 1 class the EXACT SAME WORK as his spanish 1 and 2 class that had twice the time. So even though I did all the work of a spanish 1 and 2 student in half the time. I’m still in his class this year. But now he’s going back to college and he’s run out of things to teach. So he gives us random time consuming projects one right after the other to do AT HOME so he can use his time on the job to study for his college class.
He also likes to call me and my friends his “short little skanks”. He doesn’t “speak” with students, he screams at them in front of God and everyone. Since he never really teaches he just talks about sex, politics, and religion (he’s a devout Catholic), usually just sex though. He started a rumor that two of my male classmates were a gay couple. And my final complaint about this man is that he shows no respect for his students, but instead calls us skanks.
If you’re wondering why he hasn’t been fired. It’s because he has something in common with the principal, two of the office workers, and one member of The Board of Education… His last name. If it weren’t for the fact that his mommie and big bro run the place he would’ve been fired years ago.
my teachers jus a lesbian fag
Well, my english teacher gave all of her students in one of her periods A’s because she liked them by simply adding 200 point projects they didn’t do and the administration said nothing and that it was ok.
Yeah, the school system in California sucks.
Oh, and she calls us mentally retarted yet she still works there.
These are some serious accusations, but some of them I dont understand why u wod even post them, like “working in a bikini on weekends, on a boat” thats her free time, personal discretion. The other one was “being a woman” how the hell is this wrong. Also I think that what happens outside the school and is not a felony shouldn’t even matter.
my teacher does favor tissumm . ndd ii h8 iit .
these teachers thiink dhat theiir the **** because they have a job , wiith kiids .
JAJAJAAAJAAA DIZ SHYT IS STUPID!!!
My teacher called me stupid when I got sent to the office. She’s such a B**ch!!
My teacher threatened 2 take my fone cuz IT WWUZ IN MY BACK POCKET, then i felt like he wuz lookkinq down my shirt cuz he was standinq riqht over me(i wuz wearinq a v-neck) then he said i was fakinq when i hurt my foot, then he wuldnt let meh qet my backpack from a locked room & said:
thats your fault & your problem !
I HATE HIM!
My biology teacher sucks.
She calls students gay, stupid, dumb, failures, and she tells us we won’t graduate cause she doesn’t want us to. She has changed my grades so that I am now failing and she told me and my friend Mike that we should start figuring out where we want to sit next year because she will be failing us. I heard her tell one girl that she wouldn’t be surprised if she was working the streets in a few years. That girl have a breakdown and hasn’t come back to class since.
My teacher has told us that she would lock us in a closet if we laugh because she doesn’t like the sound of our laughter and because she hates kids.
When I went to the office to complain they said they know about the issues but they “can’t” do anything about it. I don’t see why not, she has given them every reason to fire her, she even admits to what she is doing!
“they “can’t” do anything about it. I don’t see why not…”
It’s the unions. Duh.
Well, obviously nobody is teaching kids grammar, spelling, or punctuation these days.
Just “self-esteem:” “Duh, I dunno how to add two and two, but I feel REAL GOOD about myself, yup, yup, yup, yup.!”
My teacher let this girl get her a** beat and she sat there laughing!! She got fired like she deserved and then she came to my house yelling and screaming!!! So i called the cops on her!!!!
i hate my teacher angaley shes a butt head i cant evan say her name!
This is such bullshit, just more disrespect towards teachers to make it seem like they are the bad guys, when the majority of teachers are really good. The public and parents want to blame teachers because their kids are too lazy and would rather text or screw each other or fight than to get an education,this is the exact reason why I refuse to go to college to be a teacher like I planned, I will not get disrespected by a bunch of useless kids and even more useless parents for just trying to do my job.
me and several other people have a biology teacher who eats in class comes to school once in a blue moon and comes to school looking like she is stoned.she doesn’t teach us.she just gives us an assignment tells us to do it then eats and does nothing for the rest of class.
my teacher sucks same with my principle i just want 2 kick them in the crouch 4 FUN
can a teacher get fired because of picking on one serten student??? today i got is and referal because i offerd her a cookie is that right???also the other day i left my folder in her class, and she threw it way!!! im trying to get her fired but none of these help…
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i want to get my teacher fired cas she keeps taking my things
My teacher put on the Laramie project. We had to get permission slips signed and everything. We also watched “Crash”, “Higher Learning”, “North Country”, and “Gran Torino.” Needed slips for those too though.
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UUGH! I’m like
The smartest kid my teacher has seen… just because I won science fair, my teacher accuses me of cheating… I told my mom and my mom called my teacher a whore
Mine can’t teach, is to fat for her chair and sites at the computer eating chips and drinking pop on Facebook and still finds time to yell
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